The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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