You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
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Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
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I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize