This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
