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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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