you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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