The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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