she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
