If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
