Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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