Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
