So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
