I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
