My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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