sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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