I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
