My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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