By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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