"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
