She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
