your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
