I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
