Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
