I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
