Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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