i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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