I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
