Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
