Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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