Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
