i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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