i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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