butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we made out on top of his cat.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
