I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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