They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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