just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
