I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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