just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
