You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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