So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
