Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The beer is more important than you right now.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
