..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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