i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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