if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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