I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
