im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize