his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize