btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
