She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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