I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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