So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Who died my cat blue again?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
