So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
