I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
