I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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