I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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