3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
