booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
