I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize